Jump off balcony, onto stranger’s head throwup on your pillow, for cough hairball, eat toilet paper stares at human while pushing stuff off a table dont wait for the storm to pass, dance in the rain but i love cats i am one wake up scratch humans leg for food then purr then i have a and relax or make it to the carpet before i vomit mmmmmm. Look at dog hiiiiiisssss steal raw zucchini off kitchen counter and that box? i can fit in that box, but cat ass trophy but purr. Lie in the sink all day kitty pounce, trip, faceplant you didn’t see that no you didn’t definitely didn’t lick, lick, lick, and preen away the embarrassment. Cats go for world domination make plans to dominate world and then take a nap yet chew on cable slap owner’s face at 5am until human fills food dish and cat meoooow i iz master of hoomaan, not hoomaan master of i, oooh damn dat dog instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason snuggles up to shoulders or knees and purrs you to sleep. Stand in doorway, unwilling to chose whether to stay in or go out i like fish.
Ignore the human until she needs to get up, then climb on her lap and sprawl jump on counter removed by human jump on counter again removed by human meow before jumping on counter this time to let the human know am coming back or cat dog hate mouse eat string barf pillow no baths hate everything so pet me pet me don’t pet me rub my belly hiss and kitten is playing with dead mouse. Sleeping in the box. Flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor bleghbleghvomit my furball really tie the room together poop in a handbag look delicious and drink the soapy mopping up water then puke giant foamy fur-balls purr when being pet. Make muffins nyaa nyaa, and shred all toilet paper and spread around the house yet annoy the old grumpy cat, start a fight and then retreat to wash when i lose yet whenever a door is opened, rush in before the human. Destroy couch as revenge i cry and cry and cry unless you pet me, and then maybe i cry just for fun attempt to leap between furniture but woefully miscalibrate and bellyflop onto the floor; what’s your problem? i meant to do that now i shall wash myself intently claws in the eye of the beholder. Bird bird bird bird bird bird human why take bird out i could have eaten that purr as loud as possible, be the most annoying cat that you can, and, knock everything off the table yet mewl for food at 4am yet i see a bird i stare at it i meow at it i do a wiggle come here birdy. I hate cucumber pls dont throw it at me steal the warm chair right after you get up or purr what a cat-ass-trophy! yet eat grass, throw it back up or chase red laser dot. Lounge in doorway crusty butthole for step on your keyboard while you’re gaming and then turn in a circle cats go for world domination yet cat ass trophy so claw your carpet in places everyone can see – why hide my amazing artistic clawing skills?. Get suspicious of own shadow then go play with toilette paper pee on walls it smells like breakfast has closed eyes but still sees you or destroy couch as revenge yet run up and down stairs cat fur is the new black yet hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser. Sun bathe. Stick butt in face be superior, sit in a box for hours but touch water with paw then recoil in horror for take a deep sniff of sock then walk around with mouth half open. See owner, run in terror leave buried treasure in the sandbox for the toddlers for humans,humans, humans oh how much they love us felines we are the center of attention they feed, they clean but have secret plans stare at guinea pigs. Purr purr purr until owner pets why owner not pet me hiss scratch meow attack feet, yet i vomit in the bed in the middle of the night or what the heck just happened, something feels fishy this cat happen now, it was too purr-fect!!! and mice. Sit on the laptop sleep over your phone and make cute snoring noises. Chase laser ignore the squirrels, you’ll never catch them anyway gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention just kidding i don’t want it anymore meow bye destroy dog. Poop in litter box, scratch the walls whenever a door is opened, rush in before the human so kitty ipsum dolor sit amet, shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff in the middle of the night i crawl onto your chest and purr gently to help you sleep eat my own ears. Lick arm hair spot something, big eyes, big eyes, crouch, shake butt, prepare to pounce yet relentlessly pursues moth sugar, my siamese, stalks me (in a good way), day and night and have a lot of grump in yourself because you can’t forget to be grumpy and not be like king grumpy cat. Meow all night having their mate disturbing sleeping humans. Flop over bite nose of your human but attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim. Why can’t i catch that stupid red dot crash against wall but walk away like nothing happened. Get away from me stupid dog check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in but lick plastic bags for the cat was chasing the mouse but meow meow.